GolfHos

...since I revealed intimate details of my life to what essentially amounts to a group of random strangers, so I guess it's probably time:

Stroh noticed that I've been awol for a while, evidently no one else did because not one of you *fudge*ers bothered to PM me about the fact that he is no longer wearing jockey shorts and has switched to boxer briefs. So *fudge* all y'all for that one. Bastards. I thought we had something special going here. You're all the same.

At any rate, some of you know, and I don't know who you are, that Laura and I have been trying to get pregnant for several years now. If you've never had trouble getting pregnant, it's not as much fun as you think it might be. It's not all drunk party ****. In fact none of it is. You know how when that thing you like doing becomes the thing you have to do? Takes the romance right out of it, I'll tell you. The further it goes, the less fun it becomes. I've now gotten to the point where I can no longer be aroused unless I'm in a clean but probably not sterile room, holding a sample cup, looking at a SI Swimsuit Issue, with some dude anxiously waiting on the other side of the wall waiting for my, erm, "deposit."

The only thing that might have made it better is if they could have gotten my dad to come in and bang on the door demanding to know what it is that I'm doing in there for so long. So I'm sure you all wanted to know that. You're welcome.

Gross story somewhat shorter: yeah, we can't get pregnant. So the choice became In Vitro (IVF) at $12k per attempt (at a 50/50 shot of even getting pregnant, let alone ending up with a baby), or adoption (more money than I've ever even spent on a car). After some pretty tough discussion we ended up deciding to go with the latter.

You think rubbing one out into a cup with a waiting room full of people knowing what you're doing just outside sounds bad, try filling out adoption paperwork. It's excellent. Best experience ever. So now we are officially applicants to adopt. It could be a matter of weeks, could be months. We don't know.

Our profile is being presented to a birth mother tomorrow. Hopefully she'll like our pictures enough to let us buy her baby.

Anyway, that's where I've been. I still can't believe you guys didn't let me know about Stroh's underwear. *fudge* off, *8==>*s.

[Sappy stroh]

Thanks for the update.

I don't like the smile on his face, but I do like the sentiment of his fingers crossed for the two of you:   [sm_fingersx]

Two deserving will be parents, and I wish you the best.  And I just know that there is a tiny hand out there waiting to hold yours.

I hope it's a girl.   ;)

[/Sappy stroh]

Hey, welcome back.  Stick around, at least ... a bit more often ...       good luck with the adoption.

Good to hear from you, man.  Hoping for the best.

Good luck, spacey.  My little brother and his wife just adopted a little boy - it became official in Feb..

Good luck with the adoption. Monte must be starving having to wait so long.

Best wishes spacey!

Been there, done that. I felt like I was reading our story. With the exception of the SI swimsuit issue. Our clinic had the decency to have some Playboys.  ;) We hit the lottery the first time but after that not so much.

Good luck on the adoption....guarantee it will be a great experience. IMO you made the right choice....IVF odds, $'s invested, emotion rollercoaster when it doesn't work, etc......just unbelievably stressful. And I do think that if every parent who wanted kids had to go through the same process as adoptive parents it would be quite interesting. Anyway......

Our little one just turned 7 and I can't imagine our family without her.  :)

Thanks y'all. It's been a weird, tough year. If nothing else it's been an incredible lesson in the "life just isn't fair" file. Particularly bad for Laura is being a NICU nurse and having a first hand glimpse of the pieces of *feces* who can make babies. Nothing quite like detoxing a newborn addicted to meth and turning around and sending it home to its crack-*trollop* mom to make you feel good about your infertility.

It will be good, though. The irony is that one day I'm going to have a 16 year old that I'm going to have to remind myself I actually wanted once.

Oh and Stroh- we asked for a girl. ;)

While we're on the topic of IVF, I just saw a news story last night about how some organizations (http://www.elitedonors.com/index3.html) are advertising in student newspapers at elite colleges for egg donations. It's like GATTACA becoming reality.  :sad3:

Both my kids were products of IVF.

Interestingly, their birthdays are a day apart, conceived at the same time (they're from the same embyo batch) but born 2 years apart.

We still have another 7 embryos in the "fridge", should we decide to have a third.

That said, IVF is a tough process, and it appears to be extremely *goshdarn* expensive in the US: $12K per attempt. Here, after Private Health and Medicare rebates we were something like $2000 out of pocket for the first attempt, and $1200 for subsequent attempts.

Proud to say I a member of the "Yes_I've_rubbed_one_out_in_a_cup_to_get_pregnant" group.

Hang in there.

 ;)

If you can spare 'em, please send a zygote or two to spacey in Bountiful, Utah, USA. Please throw in a small jar of Vegemite. I'll email spacey a forwarding address for the Vegemite.

On paper sounds like a good idea, however:

* they'll end up with an asian looking kid, likley to be over 6'4"
* potentially 10 pounds in the womb
* first words are likely to be: - "G'Day Mate"
* followed by: - "Crikey! would you take a look at that!" every time they crap in a nappy/diaper

We also now have two kinds of Vegemite:
 Regular and Cheesy.

Not so quick.  spacey is huge basketball fan.


I feel it important to point that any mention of penis size was noticeably absent.

Good luck! Lord knows kids are a blessing and a curse at the same time. But in the end, when you see something like this:
(http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a101/caaz/Floridatrip8-13304.jpg)

It makes it all worth it.

 [sm_shock]

ditto!  small world, eh? 

We went through that for a few years.  Feeling your pain.  We had a couple of miscarriages during it all, but as bad as those were, they weren't as bad as the shear frustration that comes with just being in the whole process.

(our clinic had the decency to stock some of the pseudo nasty pröñ (*trollop*s&Slobs, Penthouse, Cherry) that sort of helped move things along quickly....in a way, I kinda missed those visits when they ended)

best wishes! 

So you gots you one of them narry uretys?
(http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l209/gvandel454/TV%20and%20Movie%20Stuff/HankCotton.jpg)

Seriously, that rant was both funny and not so funny, but that's spacey, somehow take lemons and make them into lemonade, with just enough wry sense of Monty Python like wit to hide the pain, it was very heartfelt.

The ends justify the means sometimes, when your daughter holds your hand for the first time you'll forget about samples in cups quickly. You'll make great parents, and that my friend is a rare commodity these days.

Oh and +1

Update- Holy crap what a ridiculous, stupid, grueling process. I don't recommend it.

Finally we have been matched with a baby. Birth mother will be induced June 21st (the day after Father's day, but I think I should still qualify for gifts.) Assuming all goes well, I will have a son in just four weeks. Wish me luck.

Congrats! [sm_beertoast]

(http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o306/fiddlingnero/ITS-A-BOY-CIGARS-420-CIGAR-ITS-A-MA.jpg)

I am so very very happy for you and your wife.

Thanks. "Lisa" and I are excited. :)

 [sm_laughing]

Genuinely happy for you both.  I have all of my fingers and toes crossed.

June 21! Our first son was born on that day (when it was Father's Day).

Congrats!

That's great news!!

Congrats, spacey!
 [sm_beertoast]

That is great news Spacey. ;D

The 21st of June is my Mum's birthday. It is also the shortest day of the year over here. ;D

Outstanding news......very happy for you spacey!

 :tapsfingers:    :watchingyou:

It's official. Signed all the papers today. Spacey is a father, and Spacey Jr. is among us. The world surrenders.

By the way, since my wife always asks this *feces* and I never know the answer: Born: 6/21/10 @ 14:26. 6lbs 12.6oz. 19.5". 10 fingers, 10 toes. And yes, what they say about black men is evidently true. At least in this case.

[ETA]- The picture above is actually him.

Outstanding! The Fuzzy household is very happy for you, Lisa, and spacey jr.! Congratulations*.







*and good luck...you know they grow up and torment the living *feces* out of you don't ya?   ;)

Lol

;)

Welcome to the world little one.

Congratulations to the spacey family.

The correlation with the size of one's hands must also be true as well then.

Congrats!!!! Definitely a Father's day present to remember.... Just ask Spanky! Happy for the Spacey household.

woohoo!  [sm_thumbsup2]

Awesome!

Yeah, but they also can also become your best friend(s) after all the torment.

Congratulations, Spacey.  Have fun.

So somebody else will be checking the board on the 3am can't sleep shift?

SWEET!

He is lovely. :D
What is his name?

Thanks Jules. His name is Matthew Jacob.  :)

when are you gonna start teaching him to listen to kiss ?

I could give you a scientific explanation for that phenomenon, but why spoil the fun

Congrats!

congrats
 [sm_beertoast]