GolfHos

Really?  Ok.  Again......... "Golfer does honorable thing.  Calls penalty on-self, blah, blah, blah"

Here's what makes it news:  It's a teenager.

Here's where I get stuck:  You play a tournament.  You smoke the field.  You get the medal, leave the course, go to your home course and hours later (yeah, hours later.  Read the quotes) while shooting the *feces* with your head pro, he points out that you have an extra club in the bag.

Seriously?  You played 18 *goshdarn* holes!!!  Your hand, arms, and ass was in and on the bag for four *goshdarn* hours.  This mysterious 5 wood didn't stand a little taller than the irons? Didn't "smoosh" over your other fairway woods in your upper section of your Ping Hoofer? No new and interesting head cover?  No phone call from your "friend" saying congrats, did you smoke the *feces* out of my 5 wood?  Can I have it back?

The whole thing just smacks of Look at me. (http://msn.foxsports.com/golf/story/Young-golfer-disqualifies-self-gives-up-medal-36108363)

Must have been a slow news day in Wisconsin??

(http://us-masters-golf.com/images/ice-cream.jpg)

Okay, seriously:

He's 14.  Beavis and Butthead was funny because it was an accurate depiction of what the media calls 'Tweens'.

n_ApS3fpB44&feature=related

So yes, he completely spaces the extra club because he's thinking about Christina Kims *funbags*

(http://cdn.wn.com/ph/img/a0/20/fd9b95af85bef690864d41ca4a8b-grande.jpg)

Or he's actually REALLY concerned about his complete inability to do a trey flip:

WXPX2GPf1_g

Between having had teenage stepsons and hanging out with my 13 year old nephew (by which I mean: Taking him places to skate), I don't really have a problem believing the kid stuck the stick in his bag, and completely forgot about it.

So good on him for calling it!

If that's the case.  Fine.  Agreed.

Having said that. 

Dude.  You play golf.  I play golf.  Some other people here (at least Jules and twoiron) play the *goshdarn* game. 

When I reach into my pants I know what to expect.  If there's more or less, I'm aware fairly quickly.  Over the course of a round of golf my bag is not much different.  "Where the hell is my 7 iron, 56, putter, beer, lighter, etc."  It just is what it is.

18 holes.  Eighteen *goshdarn* holes.  He doesn't notice the club?
 
[sm_bs]

If I'm still up after this, I'll tell you what it was*.

* I guarantee it.

Yup. There's a reason we don't generally let them run around doing whatever the *fudge* they want when they're 14. It's because they're stupid.

When I reach into my pants I know what to expect.

ROFL! A 14 year old has all kinds of weird *feces* going on in his pants. That can be distracting! Refer back to my original post:

(http://i.a.cnn.net/si/multimedia/photo_gallery/2005/09/13/gallery.leadingoff/gallery20.jpg)

LMAO  Troo Dat.

I can't believe this little *fudge*er shot a 77.

Oh, I don't understand how he never noticed a "friend's club" sitting in the bag for 18 holes during the tournament.

Here's the deal.  I'm gonna type this out while having an ice cream sandwich and 2 Ho-Ho's and then go to bed.

It would be a hell of a lot easier if I could just post a You-Tube video of my response in my soon to be released:
stroh's: Here's the Deal....  But I'm too lazy and don't have the time.  I'm surprised I'm typing this much.

Anyhoo.

Dude is playing the match.  Dad is in tow of course.  (Ask Blader.  In fact I bet Blader would back me 100% on this as a sports Dad, except he is too uptight 'Merkan, apple pie, Chevrolet, etc., etc.  But he knows.)

So.  Kid tees off.  First hole, maybe second.  He turns to Dad and says:

Kid:  Dad.  I forgot. I still have Chunky AssLovin's 5 wood in my bag.
Dad:  What now?
Kid:  He gave it to me last night at the range.  I hit the *feces* out out of it.  I forgot to take it out of my bag today.
Dad: (looks.  mumbles under breath '*fudge*!!! *fudge*ety *fudge* *fudge*!! Stupid ass what the *fudge*, Jeebus Got Damnit *fudge*in' Mc*fudge* Hammer.  *feces*!!!)  OK  Keep playing son.

Dad thinks to himself.  There was the Woosy thing years ago, but recently Brian Davis  brought a ton of press.  National press.  Golfer calls penalty on his self.   Then just weeks ago the Dustin Johnson flap about a bunker in or out of play.  Loses The PGA.
Hmmmmmm

Dad:  Son, listen.  Here's what were gonna do.  Keep playing.  If it's noticed now, you get gigged a couple strokes and prolly still win.  If it's not noticed and you win and then it's noticed it's just news around the club and maybe the City paper.  But listen here son;  Let's say you win this *fudge*er.  Let's get our asses out of here get back home to Bushwood and have Ty Webb "discover" you had too many clubs in the bag.  I know you lose this tourney boy, but it will go from a city write up to National headlines.  Think of it.  Maybe even on MSN!  This could launch your career.

The rest of us:  Your 15 minutes starts :  now.

Wow!!  this raises so many issues

where to start?

Blader and Blader Jr would not communicate after he checks in at the first tee less it be construed as giving advice to the golfer
(see current LPGA Koreans-always-cheat because it is in their and their parents nature kerfuffle).  To talk with the progeny once the match gets going creates a weird dynamic but is probably best for all parties involved to simply avoid if at all possible.

So, no, I wouldn't count his clubs and he has to learn how to do it himself.

Anyhoo, since you asked, here's the typical conversation just before the round starts and I head down the cart path:

Blader: "Want anything from the snack shop?"

Blader Jr: [inaudible]

Blader: "Have anything in the bag you want me to put in the car?  Need anything else?"

Blader Jr: [inaudible]

Blader: "OK, well, good luck, hope you play well and have fun.  I might have to peel off after 9, got some work to do, check in with the secretarial pool, etc"

Blader Jr: [steely death stare, not quite sure what his message to me is]



I'm pretty sure in the starters tent they almost always ask the kids to count their clubs almost as a condition of getting a scorecard.  At least on the tours Blader Jr competes.

So maybe this little "hero" plays on a suck jr tour that doesnt do that or maybe the little moron can't count? 

But, Colleague Stroh, I can sort of see one of these kids "missing it" accidentally for an entire round.  You'll see when your kids grow up, they get enveloped into an almost supernatural Cloud of Stupid (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTHMbqDLRmc) that is virtually impenetrable and whisks them into a deep catatonic state. 

And yeah, Colleague Gleek, kids that age shoot 77.  All the *goshdarn* time.  Down here a 77 sucks and won't win a kid *feces*.  When Blader Jr shoots a 77, we're sorta glad he's in the 70's but a 77 ain't his best stuff and he spends the whole ride home rationalizing away all the missed opportunities and by the time we get there he's pretty much convinced himself that he shot a 71 or 70 or maybe even something in the 60's so the 77 only 'counts' because it was a tournament and he had no choice but to report it as a 77, even though it really wasn't.  Is that clear?  I hope so.

Still, I do agree with your general premise. 

Why is this kid getting lauded?  What he did totally sucks, accidental or not.  It was his responsibility to play by the rules, and sign a correct score card and he couldn't even do that.  *fudge* you kid!   Worse, he totally *fudge*ed over some other kid who didn't break the rules and *8==>*ed that kid out of perhaps the most glorious moment of his golfing career, which is having his picture taken by a scoreboard with his name at the top and all highlighted in yellow etc and so forth and holding a shiny new trophy or medal and grinning from ear to ear.   

I've done the calculations and it turns out that this poor little losers chances of ever being in that moment again are improbable, because in a few months time he will be completely obsessed with drugs and girls, for all intents and purposes ending his golf career. 

This is why, whenever I have the option, like if I tie for something in a tournament or in a little chipping contest or whatever, I take the tournament bling let the other guy have the money.  Every time.  Because bling is hard to come by and because even I won't stoop to the level of buying and engraving trophies from mythical tournaments I didn't win just to make my shelves look better. 

But I've obviously thought about doing that. 

Does not going ahead and buying fake golf trophies even though I can make me a hero?

Hope this helps.  Call or write for any clarification, etc and so forth.

PS

I agree.  Making a press release out of coming clean sounds really suspicious.  WTF?  Trying to make this kid look like a hero.

Still, maybe it is a good thing to have these "stories of honor" publicized now and again--irrespective of whether it is a ginned up story.  Stories like this help to set the bar for kids, for them to learn that good things (publicity and praise) can come from doing the honorable thing. 

The main problem jr golfers face is that they will get yelled at by their parents if they don't win.  Golf parents invest a great deal of $ and emotion and dreams in their little player's success, and it is incredibly tempting to demand from the kids what maybe they just don't got.  Which places an extraordinary burden on the kids to put in a low score, even if that means cheating. 

So stories like this can be a counterweight, since there is a lot of cheating that actually does go on, I guess.  Especially by the Koreans (http://lifeontour.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/here-at-ground-zero/).

http://lifeontour.wordpress.com/

This guy appears to have a serious dislike of Asian players.

The guy hasn't carried for a winner in 11 seasons, and his last win was carrying for Mi Hyun Kim oddly enough.

that guy might be driven against the Koreans by some dark, uncontrollable inner force, but he is right.  Well, he seems to be vindicated, at least in this instance:

http://www.waggleroom.com/2010/9/3/1667220/shi-hyun-ahns-caddie-speaks-on

Did not notice that. 'Disgruntled former employee', perhaps?  That said, I can't keep my Park Yung Kims separated from my Kim Yung Parks either.

Incompetent caddie is incompetent:

He went to work on getting a yardage. Ahn hit her ball to the green, which should have been a Titleist 1, but neither looked to verify it. Ahn's approach landed on the right edge. The other girls hit up, then Ahn chipped her ball to a foot. Hegna handed the putter to Ahn to tap in her one footer for par. When Ahn hands back the putter and ball, Hegna says that was then he realized his player had not played the right ball for the last three shots.

Yes, final responsibility lies with the the player and the fact that both players involved conspired to cheat probably warrants further action, but he's still a dumbass.

I read a bunch of Smirches blog posts last night, and a couple of things lept to mind.

The late Erica Blasberg withdrew from Q School and shut off her Twitter a few months before her death. In retrospect, that's pretty chilling. See Bladers post above about parental pressure.

He doesn't REALLY pile on the Korean players as much as I first thought. His primary concern seems to be with poor etiquette and overly involved parent/caddies. One such individual not only lines up the players putts, but checks ball position as well. That seems excessive.

He does point out that he's heard of 3 instances of outright cheating by Korean players, but I have to ask:

Is it possible that it's a problem for the whole tour?

Yeah, I blame the caddy too.   In fact, I'd be willing to bet next months rent that when Chung and Ahn walked away speaking to each other in their secret Korean language that nobody else understands, they were blaming the caddy for the whole swapped ball incident before deciding they weren't going to talk about it any further.

The caddy's incompetence doesn't mitigate the cheating.

I understand the LPGA is now going to handle the matter 'Confidentially'?

What the *fudge*?

Kia, RICOH Hana bank, etc and so forth

 [sm_shock]

I don't see the logic here:

'We have a tour wide problem with players and officials knowing the actual rules of golf:

http://www.golfweek.com/news/2010/jul/26/nonconforming-wedge-dqs-futures-player/

The problem is so severe that players (regardless of nationality) are (allegedly) actively conspiring to cheat.

The best way for us to address this is to keep it as quiet as possible for the sponsors sake.'


LOLWUT? If your tour has a problem with knowing and/or abiding by the rules ( I don't buy the 'Asian Culture Of Cheating' angle for 30 seconds), shouldn't you address it as publicly as possible?

Only the koreans cheat.  Known fact.

LMAO!

You don't REALLY buy that, do you?

I've managed to convince myself that it's not just the Koreans, given that one of the most experienced and winning Real 'Merkans (even if she is a Californio) players in all of golf 'Forgot' that you can't use a training aid during a round.