GolfHos

So,

The other night, I was on the phone with a fellow GolfHoian.  Talked for a while, helped me out with some things. 

The next morning, Karen says "So, how was your mom?"

Easy conclusion;  the call came late at night, after the girls were in bed, I was on the phone for a while, and I moved about the house a lot. (Basement, upstairs, garage, etc.)  I do this whenever I talk on the phone, its a nervous habit....I have a phone phobia, but esp. present when with my mom.(fodder for another thread, oh baby!)

I say, "Oh, it wasn't her.......it was one of the guys from 'my golf dealie'....."
Eyes roll.

"And what, who, why???  you were on the phone........why is he calling you?"
 :'( [sm_redface]

segue: Karen's view/interpretation of the internets is circa late '90s.  It's used for 3 things. 

pröñ:  Hard to argue this one.

Child abduction:   I already got a kid of my own, and I damn sure don't want the hassle of someone else's.

Online chat & "hookup"  Of course popular America has turned this into an entirely homo****ual activity.

Ah Ha!  we have a winner.  If I'm online, I'm finding people to "chat" with, and hook up.  I don't know where.  We have no alleys, and if you're parked for more than a minute or two, Barney Fife offers to help.  Although I give her credit, she is expanding, but still limits herself to paying the car insurance online, and her universe in basically limited to the MSN homepage, and horoscopes.

Return:  I explain (and deep down, she knows, 'cause I've told her a thousand times, it's a golf forum.  Hell, I've even let here read posts I've written. In retrospect, showing her the "pun" thread from the other place, may have worked against me.)  that it was golf forum business, and it was nice to chat/get to know a friend.

Again with the eyes.  She just doesn't get it.  I'll give her the fact that she appreciates: "This is a golf dealie?" yes  "But you don't talk about golf?"  not usually  "And you want to meet these guys in person some time?" well, uh, yes.  "But when you 'chat' with them.........oh nevermind"

Inevitably the conversation ends with me pleading

".........But, I'm not gay"

NTTAWWT of course.

Was this the phone call with me?  'Cause I was wearing chaps the whole time.


Commando.

Now, now boys. [sm_devil]

Thanks for that vision. Now I'm going to have to look at port to get that out of my head.

I think it goes better with a shiraz.

Well, careful how you type the header.  That's where his number and picture came up. [sm_naughty]

Great. Now when I open that bottle of shiraz I have I'll think of this thread. And chap wearing patent lawyers.

There's a sentence I would've bet I'd never write in my life.

Don't forget the feather boa.

gay.straight.don't be so suburban. it's the new millenium.  it's all the same now

Whatever. I live in Texas and that doesn't fly.

However I grew up in New York so that makes perfect sense.

Gowd I am at odds with myself.

just quoting the master.... from one of the best films ever.
 8)

You are most ungay.  The forum 'fellaz' that often came to the house initially left my wife concerned. Now she's used to it...she makes them wear assless chaps even.

Grazi! ;D

Like you have time to be gay.

you're as fine a bundle of sticks as I've ever seen.

How are we supposed to believe you're not gay when you won't cop to the "fellow GolfHoian"'s identity?

I bet you're hiding something.

I bet it was that flamer **********.

I bet "some things" involved proctologist recommendations.

(I must admit, all of this speculation has me a bit hot) :drool: :help:

Hah.

Dunk just called you faggots.

 ;D