GolfHos

1.  It doesn't take 3 days for a meaningless post to get off page 1.

2. Porkchop is over there

3, Aske is here

You can disable the goddamn mother*goshdarn* piece of *feces* language filter.

you forgot the #4.

5.  This

 Warning - while you were reading a new reply has been posted. You may wish to review your post.

6.  When you click on the NEW button from the forum main page it takes you to the last unread post in a thread.

#7 People here are layed back, and don't kill yo on speling and; 'grammar".

8.  Door prizes and full dental.

9.  Less moderation

10. Aske will always offer a gentle reminder (read: jump your *feces*) when you err.

11. smileys like this  :watchingyou:

it's err- or dumbass!

what is that smiley

12. no rickb. possibly the biggest *bunghole* i have never met. ;)

13.  Clive is "out" here.

lol.  are you sure nobody already pointed that out in this thread?

14. dystopia doing such a great job, providing, and maintaining this site for us.

Asskisser.   [sm_shock] [sm_devil] ;) ;D

15.  P&R section not req'd.

I can be myself here and not portray my over-compensating persona to hide my latent desire for a **** change.

17. PnF is kinder, gentler and more geigh over here.

Thank you for the complement.  It means soooo much to me.  It was so stuffy and confining in the closet.

18. I can post here and get porkchop to call himself a dip*feces* in his own thread "over there" just like magic.

You are the ultimate puppetmaster.

19.  These are still the good old days.

   :o

20. NFL p.b.p.

21. WWE


22. at least 50% of the 'population'  has seen Snatch

23.  At least 50% of the population haven't just seen Snatch.

 ;) [sm_naughty]

unlike the 'other' place I can log in during work hours....

25. Karma

26. smite smite smite

27. We aren't bothered by any talk about "golf".

28.  Fumbled punts.

29. Drinking while posting is not only accepted, it's appears to be mandatory   8)

Thank you for the affirmation.

That's called the "stroh quotient"

Huh. I have to see snatch to enjoy GolfHos, but enjoying GolfHos lately, has prevented me from seeing snatch.

s'troh !

Guffaw X2

30.  No flunky sponsor shills bitching because somebody spoke critically about their guy's latest and greatest offering, which is of course the longest club ever, at least 15 yards longer than anything ever before.

Unless of course it's a putter, in which case it instantly cut 8 putts off their round.

There are 99 other reasons why Golfhos is better.

32. you can post about kartoffelpuffer.

Although I do feel a little dirty after reading that one.

33. I can snack on mashed potatoes lathered in butter while posting and not worry about another hearing.  ;)

ummm ok... ???   I always thought that mashed potatoes was something you ate with something else... like roast lamb and peas....

They can make a good snack, too.

http://www.freegolfinfo.com/forums/tm.aspx?m=2006391&mpage=1

speaking of which, maybe I should bump that back up to see if the appeal has made any progress......

(http://www.sxc.hu/pic/m/n/ni/nillatrez/447724_sleeping_dog.jpg)

I suppose you eat candy bars with a knife and fork too..... ;)

lol, nope

rofl, I wasn't going to.  Maybe Kev will though... ;)

LOL good point, and good segue.

On Topic.

#34 Torpedo may ply his craft freely, without fear of injunction.

#35, it's always  5PM SST

Atta Boy!  [sm_thumbsup]

# 36 There are no "This club so great I hit it 900 yards" threads.

sorry, with my slow swing speed i only get 875

wuss

But maybe I can with my new driver! ;)

I don't think so. I'm pretty sure he's here too, and posting.

 :o

He's on the memberlist anyway....  [sm_dontknow]

yeah, I heard as G5.

That's what I figured.

http://www.golfhos.com/topic-1326.15

Seems to be a consensus building. I say welcome to all.  [sm_devil]

37. Threads like this can continue as long as we feel they're useful without fear of them being locked down after "everyone has had their say."

Doh! I missed that thread.

I'm missing a sock.

It's probably stuck to your other sock because of the pröñ.

Got it.  Thanks.

did peeling it off hurt?


anklet ?

38. No free golf towel.  But it still gets here faster.

39. Quick loading on dial-up. :D

#40.  There is a posted syllabus.

41. no tribalfusion

Partly why it does load fast on dial up. :D

#42. No Clan Fission.

43. really bad puns

I don't mean to get soppy but.........golfhos feels like you are just having a chat with your mates!!!! ;D

 44, I`ve thought golfhos is for gays! :o

 stevie [sm_devil]

Thaaaaat's why you have been spending so much time here.

45. I feel like I can be myself here, but probably nobody cares about me here either.

Welcome!!!  I feel the same way.  Here I can let my sensitive, feminine side flow free.  prokrop, I can tell you from my own personal experience that coming out of the closet is really freeing.  Let me know if I can help.

I'm not going to come out of the closet.  Guys who do that are losers.

46. No Terms of Service!   [sm_hump] [sm_hump]


There aren't any Terms of Service here, are there?  I never pay any attention to that legal *feces*.

I was the same way.  You are still in the "Denial" stage. [sm_hump]

Can someone tell me how to clean the inside of my monitor screen?  I have a feeling it's going to get dirty there soon.

Careful what you ask for.  A friend of mine here at work got an email atatchment, whith a very attractive, woman with large, I dunno, attributes.  Doing just that!!!

And chance she'd come out from behind the glass and do some ... polishing?

I'd pay extra, and I'm renowned for the size of my tip.

WTF are you talking about? ???

Maybe I made a mistake joining this website.  Maybe thinking people would have more of an open mind here was a mistake.  I'd probably go back lurking except this time I'm not going to let people run me off so easily.

#47-Two words "No ButchC"

#48  More black metal friendly

You know you want it.   [sm_hump]  [sm_jack]

I thank the Lord each day for providing me everything that I want.  Why would I want to screw up a good thing?

49.  I post here!   ;D

50.  Stroh can ask questions all the questions about firefox that he has and he will get all the help he needs.

All the Firefox help he needs, that is.  There's only so much that non-professionals can do for him.

Wasn't I clear about what type of help?  Since I was talking about FX I thought it would have been.

You were clear.

Then I have to say, that I didn't get what you were trying to say. :(

That stroh "needs help".  Professional help.  Involving a couch, perhaps, and a bearded man in tweed who says "um-hum" periodically so you know he's awake and you don't start questioning whether he's really "earning" the $250/hour you're paying him.  Especially when you're still every bit as depressed as when you started seeing him, the voices are louder, if anything, and it's all you can do to repress the fantasies of the poolside scene from Leaving Las Vegas, except that you're Nicholas Cage and Elizabeth Shue, as she straddles you and pours the bottle of liquor over her bare chest, changes into Brad Childress.  And then Shue/Childress starts talking in Russian and you can see flames in his/her eyes, and you struggle to get free but you can't, and what's up with that because Childress weighs like 100 pounds, but there you are, trapped under him like he's a flaming boulder who sounds like a banana in a blender -- does that mean you don't want to escpae? -- and then he stops talking, looks right at you, and smiles, a smile so gentle that you stop struggling and just let yourself go.  And then you wake up and it's hours later and you're in some living room you don't recognize and there's just blood everywhere and--

Hypothetically.

Leaving Las Vegas?  Never seen it.

It just missed it's 'G' Rating.

By about 40 scenes/acts.

Um, ah, uh, hmm, well, uh-yeah.

51.  No Goodbye Cruel forum threads.

52.  No wankers returning after posting a Goodbye Cruel Forum thread.

53. Personal attacks are not only allowed, they are encouraged.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

It is?  I must have missed that somewhere.

54.  no little pups

???

#55 ANH references, and failed architecture in an equipment forum thread, and no one suffered a stroke.

lol :D

56.  No bizarre threads like this one -> What's up with Cleveland (http://www.freegolfinfo.com/forums/tm.aspx?m=2025219&mpage=3)

 ::)

lol at "layed" ;)

That turned nastier than even I thought it would. [sm_devil]

Once certain people get involved....

So, what's the over/under on moderation?

Neither are sponsors now.

I suppose it depends on how many people report the thread.

Rock on, rock off.

 ;)

Certainly not the only reason I seem to have purged SMT and Geek from my bag/s, but their bickering sure doesn't make me feel too bad about it.

57.  The domain renewal will hopefully get paid on time.

 ;D

lol

Keyword. :D ;)

58.  No GODGIB and RickB to pee on everyones' post.
(2 cheeks of a complete A$$)

59.  Any language is welcomed here.

You say "Holiday Load", I say "Usetacould".

keygolf? keygolf? Where are you?

oh yeah, he's not *fudge*in' here.

You're going to need to number that or it won't be recognized.

olo

How about that number?

is that to scale?

60.  It's not important to wear pink to be accepted as some sort fashionista here.

61.  Puttnfool can post, and nobody flames him. [sm_shock]

62.  I can be a flamer and nobody judges me for it.

I'm putting together a petition to have you banned.

63.  It's fun trying to figure out what triggers the "minimum word requirements" error message.  It sometimes appears even when there are more than five words in a post.

64. Less filling and feels great.

:)

That's my sig line.

Meant towards no offenders in particular.

Of course.

 :shhh:

You mean that error doesn't just follow you around? ;) :D

No, just his herpes.

valtrex.

Uncomfortably intimate knowledge of herpes meds there, Aske.

Dang!  I should have picked up on that.

65.  Insightful TV show recaps by spacey.

This thread seems to be about things that are better here than the other golf forum many of us have frequented in the past, and some continue to frequent.

Not your best review work, but the effort is appreciated.

B-

We need a 'Find your way around GolfHos stupid talk' thread for the new recruits.

66. See #12

69.
the fact that tft-spaceage relationship can come out of the closet

67.  The fact that Aske can't count properly doesn't detract from his jealousy and longing.

8)

68.  Just because. ;D

Easy there big fella. Let's not get carried away. I may not post often over there anymore, but I haven't relinquished my throne or avatar.

69. Hee, Hee. I posted number 69.

70. stegerman 69'd himself

71. Aske no longer masks his jealously of others abilities he wishes he had.


(I don't think this is working in my favor.....) [sm_oops]

72.  i'm sure someone on golfhos bought the kim kardashian **** tape.

73. i can have my avatar be a picture of the noxious chemicals in a fart.

74. stroh is comfortable with a balloon puppy dog avator.

I think lenny put that picture in chat last night.

You boys are just jealous, that he can do that!!!!!!

Ummm. Not really.  [sm_disgust]

75. Sometimes the women here are as raunchy as the men.

76.  All the women here are wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

Biased. :D

77. Threads here don't just mysteriously disappear.

 ;D 8)

I don't know what you are talking about.

(http://www.uni-mainz.de/~staeo000/pictures/mib.jpg)

Stroh, I will have to call you Schultz, now!!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D

lol ;D

Well, I think I know who you want to get rid of.



 ;)  :D

77.  Reasonable anonymous data-mining policy

78. Creepy talking spiders can sign up as members.

79. Humor

80.  No mizunogolfer

you are a freakin mind reader!!! ;D

lmao
or robisforgolf,sneakylong/downing,godgib,rickb

Thanks dyno! I thought I was the only one to enjoy that part
of this forum.

Number 81:
You can use the word "cocktail" and not have 2 asterisks mysteriously replace the "o"  and "c".  ::)

*fudge*in' right!

Number 82

We've been working on this list for 2 1/2 moths now and we still haven't hit 100 yet.

83 threads about figs don't get deleted

84

We can take 2 and 1/2 months to figure out what we love a bout this place. ;)

85: The forum isn't broken down into 37 seperate sections, 30 of which are redundant, consist of closeted homo****uals talking about their   :airquotes:'Workout Routines' :airquotes:, or just basically useless.

I don't know what you're talking about.

(http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l209/gvandel454/mib.jpg)

86. No Bevets (knock on wood... but given our staggering growth lately...)

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=2600663

You actually got me curious enough to look (not entirely read) that thread.

We NEED reason #86.

87. I'm guessing our mysterious, but benevolent admin will have no difficulty in dealing with trolls as necessary.

 :banned:

[edit] That being said, trolls need attention or they die. My strategy will be to ignore them.

Just found this online. ROFL.

88.  Golfhos, is also a very cheap place, to get computer lessons!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D

Yeah, but you get what you pay for.  That Alt. F4 thing never worked.

neither did :  /stroh is going to go potty.

Stroh, you know the alt-F4, thing was far to complex for me to even try!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

At least they didn't have you check your system to to make sure your Ctrl+Alt+Delete (pushed 2 times) works. ;) ;D

Oh Torpedo, you know there is problems, when you can't get a computer to work!!!!!! ;D

Me? My PC works just great. :D I meant at least they didn't tell that to Stroh. :D

What are you talking about!!!! [sm_shock]
I thought Stroh was a computer genius like yourself!!!! ;D

Alt-F4 worked for me. Too well.

Damn that troublemakin' TFT!

That is funny! ;D

I'll deink to that.  [sm_beertoast]

Wow...I think I almost take offense to that, but I won't, I'll just smite.  [sm_devil]

Reason number 88 why I love GolfHos. We didn't talk too much P&R crap.

Oh well it was nice while it lasted now that some  :airquotes: refugees :airquotes: showed up.

88. We have "Ask me any question, and get too know me" topics!!!!!!!
I love these threads!!!! ;D
What newbie, is going to put their hand up and have a go!!!!!!

#89
It's obvious that basic math and numerical skills are not a requirement to be a GolfHo  ;)

Okay, you don't "out" me on my "spelling"!!!!
So your going to get picky on my math!!!!! ::) ::) ::) ::)
I will go and fix my error's straightaway!!!!!!!! :-[ :-[

*chuckle*



 ;D

#90. 5 second wait in between posts instead of a minute. :D

Trust Torpie, to know the exact time between posts!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

Are you sure it's 5 seconds?

Hehe. ;D

Yeah.

Funny. My wife says it's 5 seconds too.

# 91:

No section of the forum with idiotic thread titles like this:

how do i stop shanking???

Well, quit playing would be the OBVIOUS answer...

Anybody ever see that old show with Sam Snead on the Golf Channel, where he plays a celebrity for 9 holes of match play?

He's playing with Robert Wagner, (who beat him BTW) and he shanks one DEAD right.

If Sam Snead shanks one on TAPE, odds are you're going to do it every so often...

92. Random crap I say becomes signature material.

Good call.

Quite positive.  But that's an easy waiting period. In fact, it is usually perfect. :)

93. Friends don't let friends drive.....no wait......you can prick your finger but you can't finger your.....no that's not it.

You can say *fudge* and Torp and Eagle will not get offended because they don't see that.....

*feces*....

OK you can drink and post and be normal. Oh wait that one was taken.

screw it....stroh loves TFT in some sick love fest that only Ryan Seacrest could enjoy.

94. everyone's afraid to post right now because nobody wants to get #100 and be judged for it

95. I post drunk, and am not embarrassed to post # 100 with no pants on.

#96 I can post while at work, to take up some time, whilst wearing pants..

9seven. People post their own mugshots, knowing that horrendous things will happen, in perfect contentment.

98. in like 5 months sal is close to 2/3 of her 3 year post total on figs

I was looking at that statistic for a lot of members a couple of days ago.

There are quite a few guys/gals like that.

Maybe it's that lack of fear of recrimination thing....

Nah.

99.  No daily "Distributor of the Month" threads


*goshdarn* TFT

More like "finding more things to say".

Don't blame me for your inablility to *goshdarn* count, shill.

I was short a finger because my middle one was extended at you, you *goshdarn* *bunghole*.

I thought you snapped that finger off in corporate's ass last time he was over?

100. Catfights  :drama:

There are even some real ones.

*humid grotto*.

 ;)

When I suggested that naughty word translation, I didn't think Dystopia would really use it.

 ;D

LOL that's hilarious!

101:

No three page thread about manboobs, and how anybody with manboobs can't play...

Dyno said I had a nice rack.