GolfHos

Amazing huh?

Well from 1975-1988 the chances were pretty good that you'd catch me drunk or stoned.

Then my oldest daughter was born. Chances were nil for 10 years.

I've been pretty good for 15 years, the last 3 have been ...eh...off and on...old demons are hard to fight.

It seems since I'm losing my job that I've been drinking more, a lot more, No!, but more for sure. It can be expected. Of the four major catastrophes that could happen in my life losing my wife Wendy would be #1 Losing my daughters would be 2 and 3 and losing my job of 20 years would be 4.

So I'm a bit lost and wandering.

But it will be Ok I Know.

But no one to chat to.

Oh well!

What we need here is a 24 hour range...

I'm whooped from work today.

Remember, though we may act like idiots, there are some very good people here who I am sure are either going through, or have been through the same as you.

Myself...I drink now a lot more than is comfortable for me.  I have quit working out, I have gained 40 pounds in the last 2 years, and I have quit doing the things that made me feel good.  A lot of us go through this, but few have the balls to admit it.  I can't say I would be much help, but if you need someone to talk to, who feels in the same place, do not hesitate.  I mean that.

At the risk of sounding preachy, you might want to search out your local AA chapter.  Fully understand there are alot of problems in this world but there are so few answers in the bottom of the bottle.  I've seen alcohol destroy so many over the years and none of them ever thought it could happen to them.

While I'm not a drinker and can't relate to that aspect, I would be willing to listen if you ever need to vent.

It's not as bad as it is made to seem. I guess.

AA.

Not yet, but I will keep that in mind. When it becomes a daily occurrence and not a weekly or monthly or even bi-monthly occurrence.

This is a vent for me.

For now.

But it's hard man. It's hard bein' grown up. You know it, I know it, that little guy on your shoulder knows it.

This isn't down and out it's just down, this isn't the bottom of a bottle it's just being down, it ain't no beat up thing, it's just a little beat, and I'm whooped too.

I haven't kicked the dog.
I haven't raised a voice in anger.

It's just a spell.

The 3 of you have said something each in his way that makes sense too me.

Listen.

It ain't no gbthecoach thing from FGI. I don't have a gun in my mouth and there be no addiction yet, I'm just typing, and typing is good.

Thanks for listening. Or uh...reading.

It's meant to be hard.

Just not hard every day.

Sounds like you are still just toe dipping, try and keep it that way if you are worried.

I've opened and close this thread three times, without knowing what to say.

I don't know gbthecoach, and feel for him.  I know this thread is different, and I know you, which makes it different for me.  I can't lay down the patented "Hang in there buddy, etc."

So, I'll say this.

Gregg,

You are a good man.  You are a great father.  You're fine.  Even though it's the title, and subject of your thread, I don't read that drinking is what this post is about. 

I am not sure about your career situation, but knowing you through this and the other forum, there is little doubt in my mind you will land on your feet, if you even leave the ground.  I know you will succeed.

As for the hooch.  I think it is an indication that you are normal.  You are human.  You have fears, emotions, feelings.  I drink beer everyday of my life.  It's what I do.  It's who I am.  I like it.  I am not ashamed of it, or who I am.  Having said that, for the most part, my "hobby", for me, has never been such that it involved negative consequences.(Job, DWI, Losing spouse, etc.)

I'm just a simple redneck red blooded American beer drinker.  I suspect, you are not that different.(Pac. NW latte swilling classic rock liking sandal wearin' not withstanding, but fodder for another thread.)

Kiss your wife, tell her you love her.  Hug your daughters, and tell them the same.
Fill a glass, raise it, drink, be merry, and join your friend here whenever you can.
We'll be here for you.


Mike

[edit]
I forgot to say, don't discount the great drinkers of our time.

"Beer is proof God loves us, and wants us to be happy!"

                                                       Benjamin Franklin

have you ever considered a career in a black metal band?


j/k of course.





but seriously,   drinking at this time may not be what some consider ideal.  it's certainly a more positive route to vent/release/whatnot  than many other options one can think of or that you listed.   just stay in control.  dont drink /drive.   etc.      if things improve and you still feel yourself wanting to pick up the bottle to medicate from the small stuff,  then I'd say you should be concerned

$.02

I can't say it any better than those above me. Hang in there and vent at us anytime you need.

I don't know you at all Seamie but I figure a guy who slings Priest and Sabbath lyrics around like a ninth century bard isn't all bad.   ;)

I've been through a very rough period at work these past 3-4 weeks.  It looked very likely I was going to lose my company.  That would probably have translated into significant lifestyle changes.  I spent the first two nights of the crisis eyes wide open awake.  I'm not sure if that compares to what's getting you down but it really sucked. 

I swore I wouldn't turn into an *bunghole* over it.  I come home to a great wife and two fantastic children every night.  I forced myself to keep the right perspective.  It's only money; the family, their health and happiness is what's important. 

Interestingly, during that period I kept well away from alcohol.  My family is full of alcoholics and crawling into a bottle when I'm down seems like a recipe for disaster.  I like my drinks but I want to be a happy drinker, not a drowner of sorrows.  Don't know if this would work for you but maybe worth considering.

And on that note...

Whiskey woman don't you know that you are drivin' me insane
The liquor you give stems your will to live and gets right to my brain
Don't you know you're driving me insane
You're tryin' to find your way through life
You're tryin' to get some new direction
Another woman got her man
She won't find no new connection

Takes another drink or two, things look better when she's through

Takes another look around, you're not goin' anywhere
You've realized you're gettin' old and no one seems to care
You're tryin' to find your way again
You're tryin' to find some new...
Another woman's got her man
But she won't find a new...

Takes another drink or two, things look better when she's through

You 'bin foolin' with some hot guy
I want to know why is it why
Get up get out you know you really blew it
I've had enough, I've had enough, good God pluck me

Once she was wonderful
Once she was fine
Once she was beautiful
Once she was mine...she was mine

Now change has come over her body, she doesn't see me anymore
Now change has come over her body, she doesn't see me anymore

Changes, changes, changes, changes
Victim of changes

Maybe not much of a "chin up, old chap" song but what's a guy to do?   :)

Changes in our lives aren't easy.  After 20+ years working for the same company, my dad changed to a different lab.  Even though it was voluntary, it wasn't easy.  He went from working with friends for 15-20+ years to building up new friendships, a new environment, semi-new boss (he used to work with him at HDL for a few years), and so many different things.  Not that that's a bad thing, but some of the changes were still difficult.  It must be so much harder when it isn't a voluntary change.  Hope things start working out for you. 

Just a quick note to say thanks. Thank you for the messages here and in private. I don't know what else to say, I've stared at the keyboard for two days now, trapped but somewhere between a state of embarrassment and relief. It's a nice feeling though knowing that you've got friends out there. I'm about to break into an old song by Elton and Dionne Warwick and...

...And no one wants to see that.

~Gregg~

McDuff and Golfhos at NightBar!

Bangcoshed!

Go on Seamus, you know me, I love a good song!!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;) ;)

I'm trying not to let the professional side of me kick in, but here is an observatoin. The fact that you would post about your drinking is an indicator that you do think it is an issue. I don't know you at all and so I'm only offering this as a general comment, if it doesn't fit feel free to disregard. Why would you wait until you "needed" help before getting it? Think of it as preventative maintenance. Having worked somewhere for over 20 years means the loss requires grieving and healing. It happened to my step-dad 10 years ago and he has never gotten over it. Don't let that happen to you.

Last thought. I ran across this quote one time and it has always stuck with me and helped me keep a long-term focus: The problem you are thinking about is never as big as you think it is at the time you are thinking about it.

You've been added to my prayer list. Hope that's okay.