GolfHos

Since it's either just been or is that time of year ... just wondering if anyone had a particularly interesting review or received noteworthy objectives for the coming year.

Assuming you people actually have jobs.

Very timely post Clive. I have my review at 1:00pm tomorrow.

I will endeavor to let my fellow Golfho's in on any oddities that come up. I had to complete my "self" review the week before Christmas. We had a new format this year which was interesting and very much reminded me of my daughter's report cards from 1st and 2nd grade.

Please allow me to come back to this tomorrow afternoon.

Unacceptable, fuzz.  I have a very short attention span.  Post now or not at all.

Had my review 4 weeks ago, got an "exceeds expectations" rating, which carried with it a whopping 3% increase. Nothing worth mentioning came up.

I went up 3.8%.  In your face, bitch!



(COLA was 3.3%, IIRC.)

After running some quick numbers with an actual calculator and not my feeble brain, it turns out my increase was actually 3.74%. I guess I can still suck on that .06% though.

Had my review in July.  Not unlike spaceage, I "exceed expectations "  in every category.

Matters, not. [sm_shock]

My pay is based on a "time in career" scale. 

So I got:

A whole lot of Jack Squat!
(http://www.iliveinavandownbytheriver.com/inside/paul3.jpg)

Sux.  I'm stuck.  Cost of living goes up, but.......... [sm_shock]

You're mean Clive.   ;D

I'll give you a taste.........

I wish I had it in front of me but there were 4 or 5 areas that needed responses. But the kicker was they were titled "Passion" "Execution" "Insight" "Vision" "Results" or some such totally cool corporate speak. I'll correct any I may have missed.

We needed to show examples of how the things we did the past year fit into these areas. There was some guidance but it was all I could do to keep from writing things such as "fuzz executes on respecting other people's space" "fuzz has a passion for learning. he's not good at it yet but it will come" "fuzz is a real hard try-er and I'm expecting good results soon"

Anyway, tomorrow I get to sit down with my manager and find out if he saw things the same way.

And at the end of the day I'll get a nice 3% raise.

I should mention our company merged with another company last year so this was a new review process.

In the past we had the "Outstanding" "Exceeds Expectations" "Meets Expectations" "Below Expectations" "How are you still working here?" format based on objectives set at the beginning of the year.

But with the merger and subsequent re-org(s) the objectives got somewhat out of whack and the two HR departments came up with a kludged, touchy-feely review format.

Who does the review?

In the interest of full disclosure, I whipped mine out, too.

3.77%.  So suck half as long as you'd originally planned.  Or half as hard.  Or twice as hard, but for only one-fourth the time.  Hey, this calculator is fun!

My manager. Who's a dude.

So the whole touchy-feely thing gets a little weird.

I fear I've said too much already.

So you'll be wearing perfume tomorrow, then?

Be sure to get your junk. You know, just in case.  [sm_naughty]

I went to Target tonight and bought some Axe deodorant/Anti-perspirant.

I've heard good things about it.

Front AND back.

Oh, it's the shizzle!

(for junk spraying that is)

For a GOLF forum, there's a whole lot of talk about man-tackle here.


Not that I mind.

Dude, you have junk in the back?

Who's is it?

That's not normal?

It is ... in prison.

Will you please keep you dog, constant!

That's my actual pup.  I didn't realize that the avatar loader would accept large images and auto-size them -- I've been banging around in Photoshop, shrinking images to 65x65.

 [sm_anon]  Did I remember 2?

Yes ... there is another.

they said the oustanding quality of my work is a "priceless" commodity. unfortunately the company isn't in a position to give me the 5% increase that i was promised. then my boss went out and climbed into his company leased 2007 mercedes that he picked up tuesday and went to lunch.

sad thing is, if i was to give my notice today, a 10% increase would be easily attained.  :sad3:

Good luck with the review, and may your increase exceed the lesser of 3.77% or your wildest dreams.

I've got my fingers crossed and the Axe applied.

I'm giddy to the point of flatulence*





* copyright Blader Industries 2006

I've been so pleased with my performance, that I've taken the initiative and prepared myself a platinum parachute that will make my good colleague formerly at Home Depot, Bob Nardelli, blush with jealousy.

http://ir.homedepot.com/ReleaseDetail.cfm?ReleaseID=224078

Does that mean you didn't get a raise?

Nope. :D

Dear Clive,

My review is now complete. They are going to tolerate me for another year.

As mentioned before in this thread, it was a different style, touchy-feely review this year. There were 5 areas in which to provide examples of your work/accomplishments. Here they are with my rating in each:

Values:          Effective
Passion:         Effective
Insight:          Highly Effective
Execution:      Highly Effective
Results:         Effective
 
At the end of my review my manager gave me the real important info - my final overall rating, raise and new salary. The highlight was me chuckling at the 3.8% raise (I *feces* you not, Clive) while I thought of this thread.:

(http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c189/FuzzyPhotos/RAISE.gif)

Weird, I dug up my review from Oct 1, and I had 3.7%.  There's quite a clustering of raises in this thread:

Fuzzmental 3.8%
Clive 3.77%
spaceage 3.74%
dystopia 3.7%
stroh "Jack Squat"
COLA 3.3%

[Fuzzmental, great avatar!  My license plate is actually V4VDTTA.  Reading Alan Moore comics was a huge part of my childhood]