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Serious question

 
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Spanky
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #15 on: December 23, 2008, 12:42:27 PM »

I find it odd the guy, basically upon meeting you for the first time, was pressing for "the dirt" on someone he knew was your friend.

Or maybe he was pressing too hard trying to be one of the group. Give him another chance and see how you feel.
This bothered me right off the bat. I feel like I should give him a second chance but in a way I already did. I was told about him before I met him, by her. Some things gave me concern. I went in with an open mind putting aside what I knew.

This sucks
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Jules
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #16 on: December 23, 2008, 12:44:15 PM »

More importantly, what is Darla's view on this guy.
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spacey
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #17 on: December 23, 2008, 01:08:39 PM »

[$.02] I actually do have a close female friend who is essentially a sister to me. I met her in high school and we've known each other for 20 years. The longevity of our relationship is based entirely on the fact that we always tell each other the truth and we say what's on our mind. No games, no secrets.

If she asks me my honest opinion, I give it to her. It's not always what she wants to hear, but she knows this, and she values the fact that I will tell her the things no one else will. (It was actually shocking to my wife at first how direct my friend and I are with each other.)

I don't know what your relationship with your friend is like. But if you're bothered by the guy, I think you ought to tell her, and tell her why. It's entirely possible she has already zeroed in on some of the things that bother you about him and is looking for validation. Who knows? But if she asks your honest opinion, and she expects your honest opinion, you are doing yourself, her, and your relationship a disservice by not giving it. [/.$02]
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Clive
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #18 on: December 23, 2008, 01:14:46 PM »

You can always give a tepid answer and hedge it with the crap I posted about not having much time with him, yada yada.  If she latches onto something negative and seems animated (not intimated) as though she too found it odd/bothersome, then I'd go ahead and speak more freely.

You could always mention something he said that you found odd (like giving you child-raising advice).  Focus on that out-of-place comment and not your opinion of him as a whole (or 'hole), and see where it leads her.
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Blader
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #19 on: December 23, 2008, 04:02:01 PM »

Trust your instincts and tell it like it is.  I have 4 sisters.   I'd definitely do it for them, knowing what you know.

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Spanky
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #20 on: December 23, 2008, 07:22:29 PM »

Jules, Darla's impression is not quite the same as mine. However she agrees with me that his topics of conversation were not really appropriate. Anyway my opinion means more to my friend then Darla's.

Spacey, your situation is very close to mine. She is very much like a sister to me. Yours is the way I felt like going. Or thought I should go. Again I don't have to like the guy. I don't even have to talk to him. If she is happy that's all that matters to me. At least I didn't run a background check on him like some of her friends. It can suck being friends with a cop sometimes.

I can only hope he is just a rebound guy and she will dump him in the next couple of months.
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