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Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob

 
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dystopia
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Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« on: February 13, 2009, 02:00:03 PM »

LOL, looking at my kitchen table, I've probably sent some bills covered with BBQ sauce or Cheetos dust.  Embarrassed

Powder at Eagle County Sheriff’s Office? Instant pudding
http://www.vaildaily.com/...ce%3F%20Instant%20pudding
Quote
EAGLE, Colorado — Local law enforcement officers have now identified the mysterious white powder that was mailed in an envelope to the Eagle County Sheriff’s Office on Jan. 13: Jello-brand instant vanilla pudding.

The fellow who mailed the stuff, along with a traffic citation and a $35 money order, had no explanation for the incident other than he is a “slob.”

The incident, which quarantined the sheriff’s office for several hours, drew a response from more than 30 law enforcement and emergency service workers, including a hazardous materials team. According to a report filed by the Eagle Police Department, sophisticated infrared sensor equipment was used that day to identify the powdery substance.
...
...

The suspect, when advised of the problems the messy envelope had caused, reacted with alarm, and said he did not know what the substance was. He offered the explanation that he is “not a clean person,” and that the powder was probably picked up inadvertently from his messy kitchen table while he was paying bills.
(more...)
...
...

<---Beware! Outcast! unclean!
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stroh
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2009, 02:03:54 PM »

LMAO!   Laughing


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Fuzzy
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2009, 02:09:06 PM »

LOL, looking at my kitchen table, I've probably sent some bills covered with BBQ sauce or Cheetos dust.  Embarrassed


mmmmmmmm..........Cheetos dust............


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"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose."
From Oh the Places You'll Go, by Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel)
Uisce Beatha
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2009, 06:16:05 PM »

OK, so Dys is a Thomas Covenant fan?  My awe knows no limits.

Bow Bow
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"If you're darker than a caramel, Reverend Al speaks for you." - Aasif Mandvi
"Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk." - stroh
dystopia
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2009, 06:37:45 PM »

OK, so Dys is a Thomas Covenant fan?  My awe knows no limits.

Bow Bow

LOL.  Uhoh, I think your awe just met its first limit.  How d'ya do. Anonymous

I picked up the first book because a friend of mine always goes by the online handle, covenant, and I sought to understand the reference. Sadly, I got bored after 50 pages and gave up and never returned to it.  It's one of the few books that I've ever given up on and didn't plough through out of sheer determination.

But that doesn't stop me from attempting to quote it occasionally in real life in order to elicit nods and murmurs of approval from geeks around Silicon Valley.

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Uisce Beatha
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2009, 06:40:15 PM »

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"If you're darker than a caramel, Reverend Al speaks for you." - Aasif Mandvi
"Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk." - stroh
Dunk
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2009, 08:15:04 PM »

But that doesn't stop me from attempting to quote it occasionally in real life in order to elicit nods and murmurs of approval from geeks around Silicon Valley.
And really, that's what is best in life. That, and to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
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gleek
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E chu ta!

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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2009, 07:32:08 AM »

LOL, looking at my kitchen table, I've probably sent some bills covered with BBQ sauce or Cheetos dust.  Embarrassed


mmmmmmmm..........Cheetos dust............




Neil Peart surrenders.

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Woman, open the door, don't let it sting. I wanna breathe that fire again.
dystopia
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2009, 01:54:33 PM »

But that doesn't stop me from attempting to quote it occasionally in real life in order to elicit nods and murmurs of approval from geeks around Silicon Valley.
And really, that's what is best in life. That, and to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

I haven't read/seen Conan either. Anonymous
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Clive
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2009, 07:24:10 PM »

But that doesn't stop me from attempting to quote it occasionally in real life in order to elicit nods and murmurs of approval from geeks around Silicon Valley.
And really, that's what is best in life. That, and to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
I haven't read/seen Conan either. Anonymous
And really, that's what is best in life. That, and to see Spot run; run, Spot, run; Spot is running.
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Dunk
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #10 on: February 15, 2009, 07:26:55 PM »

But that doesn't stop me from attempting to quote it occasionally in real life in order to elicit nods and murmurs of approval from geeks around Silicon Valley.
And really, that's what is best in life. That, and to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
I haven't read/seen Conan either. Anonymous
And really, that's what is best in life. That, and to see Spot run; run, Spot, run; Spot is running.

 Grin Grin
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Blader
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2009, 07:11:27 AM »

LOL, looking at my kitchen table, I've probably sent some bills covered with BBQ sauce or Cheetos dust.  Embarrassed

Powder at Eagle County Sheriff’s Office? Instant pudding
http://www.vaildaily.com/...ce%3F%20Instant%20pudding
Quote
EAGLE, Colorado — Local law enforcement officers have now identified the mysterious white powder that was mailed in an envelope to the Eagle County Sheriff’s Office on Jan. 13: Jello-brand instant vanilla pudding.

The fellow who mailed the stuff, along with a traffic citation and a $35 money order, had no explanation for the incident other than he is a “slob.”

The incident, which quarantined the sheriff’s office for several hours, drew a response from more than 30 law enforcement and emergency service workers, including a hazardous materials team. According to a report filed by the Eagle Police Department, sophisticated infrared sensor equipment was used that day to identify the powdery substance.
...
...

The suspect, when advised of the problems the messy envelope had caused, reacted with alarm, and said he did not know what the substance was. He offered the explanation that he is “not a clean person,” and that the powder was probably picked up inadvertently from his messy kitchen table while he was paying bills.
(more...)
...
...

<---Beware! Outcast! unclean!

Did you hear about the slob who had the following conversation during a routine physical by his doctor.

Dr: You have a small hernia, nothing to worry about now but we'll need to keep an eye on it.

Slob: OK

Dr: By the way, I noticed a strange orange color on your pe_nis.

Slob: Yeah,, I've had that forever, what do you think it is?

Dr: [has the patient lie back so he can feel his liver] It probably isn't anything bad, but do you ever experience any pain in your right side?

Slob: Nope

Dr: Do you drink any alcohol at all?

Slob:  Not really.  Maybe a beer every once and again.

Dr: Are you exposed to any strong chemicals at work?

Slob:  Nope.  I just work in an office doing the books.

Dr: Well, we did a virus screen during your last visit, and you don't have any that cause hepatitis.  Just what exactly is it that you do with your free time when not at work?

Slob:  Not much, really.  After work, I come home and eat dinner and pretty much just watch pröñ and eat cheetoh's before going to bed at night.
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birdymaker
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Re: Suspicious Powder In Envelope Turns Out To Be From Slob
« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2009, 07:17:03 AM »

 Spit Take  Laugh at you
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women are like tornados. In the beginning there's a lot of sucking and blowing. In the end, the car's gone, the house is gone..
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