If Aske and I walked into the same

grocery store at the same time, the resulting vortex of 'Fail' would probably cause the universe to collapse in upon itself, or at least leave a localized black hole that covered several square miles.

I go to Fred Meyers on 240th and the Benson to buy:

1 six pack of beer

a loaf of bread

and some *feces*paper. (HAH, we'll see if the filter picks THAT one up)

  I go to check out and the ONLY available option is the evil self checkout, which I normally avoid like the *goshdarn* plague, because if you can't pay a human being to do the most core transaction of your business, *fudge* YOU!

So...

I scan everything, and the last item is the six pack ( McTarnahan Amber for 5.99), which causes the machine to give me a prompt that says (basically):

A live human being will have to do this transaction to make sure you are over 21 and/or not using a fake or stolen ID.

So I wait, and nothing happens. For a really long time. I look over at the little checker station, and she is standing there chatting with someone. I can actually hear the little 'Beep' of the alarm. From 30 feet away I can hear it, but the conversation is SO engrossing that she is oblivious.

So I wait some more.

And some more.

I finally manage an 'Excuse Me' which gets ignored, lost in the conversation and the 'BeepBeepBeepBeep' of the alarm.

I look at the display, and it says 'Your checker is 'Susan'.

So I go with:

'Excuse me, SUSAN', which may have sounded a tad like 'Yo, BITCH!' to anybody who hadn't been standing in line for several minutes.

She looks at me like I'M the piece of *feces*, and proceeds to make a VERY big show of checking my 47 year old asses ID, right down to 'Can you take it out, please?'

Really? *goshdarn* REALLY?

I bailed out on the whole *goshdarn* deal at that point. I'll use my bare hands or some Kleenex.

I place the blame right here. She has to deal with  6 people at any given time, and it's all done by remote. She could be in a WHOLE other part of the building, which is where they're trying to take this.

Normal checkout is one at a time face to face. It's an important distinction.


To be fair: I'm not sure that she wasn't talking to a customer as opposed to a coworker.

OTOH, how long does it take to hit the little button? And the whole little pissy 'tude 'Show Me Your ID' thing was COMPLETELY beyond.

What's weird is the one I usually shop at is completely different. I have a friend who works at that one, I think I'll ask him why 240th and Benson in Kent, Wa is almost always completely farked for a variety of reasons.

You have the patience of a Saint.  I would have shoved that *feces* up somebody's ass at the first sign she was too busy to respond to the beep.  And then after the whole I.D. thing they would have had to call for restraints.

It's all I can do to keep from going all Falling Down when I get carded for cigarettes.  Typically by someone young enough to be (in theory) my daughter.