Took every bit of self-restraint...

...not to kill 2 complete dumb*fudge*s at the grocery store

so we have a bunch of those 'self checkout' things...  the 2 lines with human cashiers were about 10 deep.... the  (only one turned on) self checkout line had 1 cart ahead of me.  the guy working it was straight out of the university of fail.  kept rubbing the item directly on the glass over and over,  calling for an employee everytime as nothing would scan.  I finally said out in a loud voice something to the effect of "amazingly, based on the design of that device, the laws of physics and optics dictate the scanner works better at a distance of about 2-6 inches",  politely not adding and profanity about him or his mother and her decision not to abort him.   about 1 minute later (guy still had about 12 itmes left to scan)  a cart pulls in behind me, the bottom rams into both of my achilles. asshat pushing it 'didn't even realize' he did it.  i scoot up a bit, turning to give a mean glance, but letting it go.  10 seconds later, bam, again.  i turn around and out comes (at about 90% of maximum volume so everyone around will observe "i dare you to hit that cart into my legs again, *bunghole*"    after recoiling back a bit and cowering down some, he replied "i'm sorry, i didn't realize it sticks out farther at the bottom than the top"   against my better judgement, i let it go at that.     

That's the reason I generally try to avoid going anywhere the general public is allowed.

Those self-checkout things are worthless and slow as hell unless you have just a few items in a hand basket. They give you hardly any room to stage your scanned and bagged groceries.

What they should have done is designed these self-checkout stations like a full register aisle but with the conveyor belt BEHIND the scanner (i.e. opposite of the standard set-up in a regular aisle). Then all the scanned items on the conveyor belt can slide down to a security scale to be weighed all at once. I'd have to question the effectiveness of the security scale, but that's another issue entirely. However, the scale could be used as a control mechanism for the conveyor belt to prevent the next *bunghole* from scanning his *feces* before you've bagged and removed all your own crap from the scale.

One of the Walmart grocery stores is just like this. A very smart move.

Truth is, they're actually more scared you, than you are of them.  Seriously.

But Spacey is a coyote.  Dead eyes and all.  When he speaks, I shiver.

Is it like a sneeze only better?