They Could Sell Dozens of These!

   I thought it would grow a goatee.

You can tell it's official by the Al Gore/John Edwards voice-over.  Gore had a beard -- that dude knows facial hair.

I've run the website through my proprietary voice analyzer which yields an artists rendition that reconstructs the likely inventor(s):

Men: Go look in the mirror. There is a line that runs from just above the nostril opening to the corners of your mouth. THAT's the line you use to define a mustache or 'Van Dyke'. Straight down from the corners of the mouth or angled along the same line is  up to the user. I prefer angled, which leads to a triangular shaped  Van Dyke. Underneath can be problematic, which is why occasional assistance from something called a 'Barber' is a very good idea.

Pet peeve:


If your STILL wearing a beard that looks like what this product provides and calling it a goatee, you're already a pathetic loser without buying it.

A 'Goatee' is a different beard altogether, with the mustache and beard hair separate, and the beard part narrower than the lower lip, as opposed to a 'Soul Patch' which is just a little wisp under the LOWER lip.