Jules
Members Only Jacket From: Australia
Karma: 52 Posts: 3653
 Offline
 
|
 |
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #90 on: June 17, 2007, 09:50:08 PM » |
|
PM sent to 1puttpar!  |
|
|
|
|
Logged 
|
The good thing about getting old, is that you can hit the ball out of sight.
|
|
|
Uisce Beatha
Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat From: In the Jar
Karma: 116 Posts: 7357
OfflineGet me the tank!
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #91 on: June 18, 2007, 11:28:05 AM » |
|
1putt relieved Julie of her shirt.
I guess this means Clive gets either Seamie's balls (again) or Dystopia's book or my soon-to-be-determined prize.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"If you're darker than a caramel, Reverend Al speaks for you." - Aasif Mandvi
"Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk." - stroh
|
|
|
Clive
Full Metal Jacket
Karma: 77 Posts: 4358
Offline
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #92 on: June 18, 2007, 11:52:21 AM » |
|
For the first time outside of chat: "Seamus, I'm really interested in your balls. Can you describe them for me?" Teri Rialto: Well, Christmas is a time for traditional foods and bite-size treats, and we have a very special guest today.
Margeret Jo McCullen: That's right, Teri. He's the owner of his own holiday bakery, with a very, very clever name - Season's Eatings.
Teri Rialto: [ laughs ] That's really funny!
Margeret Jo McCullen: I know, it rhymes with Season's Greetings!
Teri Rialto: Please welcome the owner of Season's Eatings - Pete Schweddy.
[ Pete pulls up to his mike ]
Margeret Jo McCullen: Well, Pete, Teri and I have been looking forward to having you on the show, 'cause we know you're the master of all kinds of Christmas goodies. Tell us about them.
Pete Schweddy: Well, there are lots of great treats this time of year - Zucchini Bread, Fruitcake.. but the thing that I most like to bring out this time of year are my Balls.
Teri Rialto: Mmm.. Balls.. Tell us about your Balls, Pete.
Pete Schweddy: Well, over at Season's Eatings, we have Balls for every taste. Popcorn Balls, Cheese Balls, Rum Balls.. you name it.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow! My mouth's watering just thinking about those Balls!
Teri Rialto: It's been years since I've seen any Balls.
Pete Schweddy: Would you like to see my Balls now?
Margeret Jo McCullen: Yeah. Whip them out.
[ Pete places a tray of Balls on the control board ]
Teri Rialto: Mmm.. wow.. you have some beautiful Balls..
Margeret Jo McCullen: They're bigger than I expected.
Pete Schweddy: A lot of people tell me that.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Look at that, Teri - the way they glisten.
Pete Schweddy: That's because make sure that each one of my Balls gets plenty of oil.
Margeret Jo McCullen: I can't help but, notice, Pete - your Balls are a little misshapen.
Pete Schweddy: That's because I rested them on a hot stove too long.
Teri Rialto: Can I touch your Balls.
Pete Schweddy: Go ahead. But be careful, they're very delicate.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow. I can't wait to get my mouth around his Balls.
Teri Rialto: [ sniffing ] Ooh.. I like the way your Balls smell..
Pete Schweddy: Do whatever you want to, ladies. My Balls are here for your pleasure.
Margeret Jo McCullen: [ chewing ] Wow, Pete.. I have to say - your Balls are so tender..
Pete Schweddy: Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow.. Schweddy Balls. Nothing like a Schweddy Ball.
Teri Rialto: Good Balls.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Mmm.. good times.
Teri Rialto: Good times.. Mmm.. our producer is telling us it's time to wrap it up.
Margeret Jo McCullen: That's all the time we have today, Teri. So, join us next week, when our topic will be that other holiday favorite..
Margaret Jo & Teri - ..Fragrant, Flavored Nuts.
Pete Schweddy: A quick plug! If you order from Season's Eatings now, you can still send out a special Schweddy Ball Sack in time.
Margeret Jo McCullen: Great idea. My niece would love a Sack of Schweddy Balls... |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
1puttpar
Vest & Plus Fours From: Loomis, CA
Karma: 16 Posts: 717
Offline
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #93 on: June 18, 2007, 02:27:22 PM » |
|
1putt relieved Julie of her shirt.
I guess this means Clive gets either Seamie's balls (again) or Dystopia's book or my soon-to-be-determined prize.
I mean, c'mon. Which would you rather do, relieve Julie of her shirt, or take Seamus' balls? Clearly, there was no choice...................  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
I really hate Vista
|
|
|
Seamus
Straitjacket
Karma: 52 Posts: 2376
OfflineI'm a juvenile acting product of the working class
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #94 on: June 18, 2007, 03:32:09 PM » |
|
For the first time outside of chat: "Seamus, I'm really interested in your balls. Can you describe them for me?" Why I'd love to Clive, thank you for asking. They are perfectly round balls, although a tad dimpled, they just came that way I guess. My balls were in a sack that my wife had buried in some forgotten place long ago, I just recently found them again, the sack that held my balls was dusty, but my balls were fine. They are good balls, my balls are in great condition, sometimes I just like to hold my balls, but, that's just me, my balls are soft, my balls like to go "both ways" if you know what I mean  . My balls have been stamped...no, no, no it's not what you're thinking, my balls have not been stepped on, they have been lettered, yes that is correct, someone wrote on my balls, I don't mind though, it kind of adds to the charm of my balls, the say "T-I-T" something or other, my goodness that's funny come to think of it, my balls have t-i-t on them, and also "Professional 90"...Wow! my head is spinning...my balls are pro t-i-t-s. They are not very big balls though, if you want really big balls you'll have to contact my friend:  Funny story...he once told me..."some balls are held for charity and some balls are held for fancy dress, but when they're held for pleasure they're the balls that I like best". So...ummmmm...let me know if you want my balls, I could take a picture of them if you'd like. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Jules
Members Only Jacket From: Australia
Karma: 52 Posts: 3653
Offline
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #95 on: June 18, 2007, 03:35:37 PM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
The good thing about getting old, is that you can hit the ball out of sight.
|
|
|
Seamus
Straitjacket
Karma: 52 Posts: 2376
OfflineI'm a juvenile acting product of the working class
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #96 on: June 18, 2007, 03:40:46 PM » |
|
Yeah they're not bad balls, I mean I like 'em, did I mention that my balls bounce? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Jules
Members Only Jacket From: Australia
Karma: 52 Posts: 3653
Offline
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #97 on: June 18, 2007, 03:43:28 PM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
The good thing about getting old, is that you can hit the ball out of sight.
|
|
|
Clive
Full Metal Jacket
Karma: 77 Posts: 4358
Offline
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #98 on: June 18, 2007, 05:45:32 PM » |
|
Although unsure if I can hold out much longer, I just have to hear what Uisce is holding.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Seamus
Straitjacket
Karma: 52 Posts: 2376
OfflineI'm a juvenile acting product of the working class
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #99 on: June 18, 2007, 06:41:22 PM » |
|
I think I have a dozen Blue Callaway "Big Bertha's" if that matters? Some have logos, but they are in perfect shape other than that.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Uisce Beatha
Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat From: In the Jar
Karma: 116 Posts: 7357
OfflineGet me the tank!
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #100 on: June 18, 2007, 08:02:59 PM » |
|
Well, couldn't find the B&N gift card. Dug deep and realized I have two copies of Rattle and Hum on DVD. One's still shrink-wrapped. Widescreen version.
"Didn't mean to BUG ya"
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"If you're darker than a caramel, Reverend Al speaks for you." - Aasif Mandvi
"Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk." - stroh
|
|
|
Seamus
Straitjacket
Karma: 52 Posts: 2376
OfflineI'm a juvenile acting product of the working class
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #101 on: June 19, 2007, 05:08:27 PM » |
|
Has Clive figured it out yet?  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
dystopia
Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat From: Silicon Valley
Karma: 94 Posts: 7929
Offline
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #102 on: June 19, 2007, 05:12:09 PM » |
|
Has Clive figured it out yet? I'd give him a minute. It might be time for the monthly self-prostate exam. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
stroh
Sleeveless Hoodie From: Impact Crater Springs, CA
Karma: 155 Posts: 16135
OfflineWe're doomed!
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #103 on: June 19, 2007, 06:32:26 PM » |
|
Has Clive figured it out yet? I'd give him a minute. It might be time for the monthly self-prostate exam. Read the other thread. He don't need no more golf balls. Typical rich ass lawyer, so cheap, he uses the same *fudge*in' ball for 18 holes. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Uisce Beatha
Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat From: In the Jar
Karma: 116 Posts: 7357
OfflineGet me the tank!
|
|
Re: U.S. Open Darkhorse Contest and Bitch Session
« Reply #104 on: June 22, 2007, 03:49:11 PM » |
|
 Well? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"If you're darker than a caramel, Reverend Al speaks for you." - Aasif Mandvi
"Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk." - stroh
|
|
|
