July 14, 2020, 07:27:45 PM
Username: Password: Duration:

Deciphering Academic Talk

Pages: [1]   Go Down
Author Topic: Deciphering Academic Talk  (Read 1397 times)
0 Members and 1 Lurker/Spider are viewing this topic.
Sleeveless Hoodie
From: Impact Crater Springs, CA

Karma: 155
Posts: 16135
Offline Offline

We're doomed!

View ProfileIgnore this user
Deciphering Academic Talk
« on: October 31, 2008, 10:36:23 AM »

"It has long been known" = I didn't look up the original reference.

"A definite trend is evident" = These data are practically meaningless.

"While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions" = An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

"Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study" = The other results didn't make any sense.

"Typical results are shown" = This is the prettiest graph.

"These results will be in a subsequent report" = I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"In my experience" = once.

"In case after case" = twice.

"In a series of cases" = thrice.

"It is believed that" = I think.

"It is generally believed that" = A couple of others think so, too.

"Correct within an order of magnitude" = Wrong.

"According to statistical analysis" = Rumor has it.

"A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings" = A wild guess.

"A careful analysis of obtainable data" = Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.

"It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"= I don't understand it.

"After additional study by my colleagues"= They don't understand it either.

"Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions" = Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.

"A highly significant area for exploratory study" = A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

"It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field" = I quit.
Logged Return to Top
Full Metal Jacket

Karma: 48
Posts: 4842
Offline Offline

View ProfileIgnore this user
Re: Deciphering Academic Talk
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2008, 02:24:37 PM »

It all makes sense now.
Logged Return to Top
Tartan Jacket
From: The home of misfits, renegades, blowhards, idiots and fools.

Karma: 9
Posts: 1277
Offline Offline

Us Dags

View ProfileIgnore this user
Re: Deciphering Academic Talk
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2008, 02:28:31 PM »

Waaay back in the Middle Ages, and I was still in college, I was co-author on a published psychological experiment.  I did 95& of the work and the professor got the lead authorship. Shocked
Logged Return to Top

"I'm only speeding 'cause I really have to poop"-as seen on a bumper sticker

Karma: 120
Posts: 31318
Offline Offline

View ProfileIgnore this user
Re: Deciphering Academic Talk
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2008, 02:45:30 PM »

Logged Return to Top

Russia has invaded a sovereign neighboring state and threatens a democratic government elected by its people. Such an action is unacceptable in the 21st century.
--  Chimpy McFlightsuit, CEO of Bu$hco Industries of 'Merka
Pages: [1]   Return to Top
Jump to:  

Related Posts
running play by MN.  should be all academic from here out.
by stroh

Serious question
When is a good time to have the drugs talk with your kids and when for the birds
by Spanky

Anyone know one of these people?
Yeah.  Our mechanic likes to talk.  And talk.  And talk.It'd
by E-A-G-L-E!

Add Invincibility to the list of
For one thing, no one knows what they are going to do until the shit hits the fa
by BFBoy


  Powered by SMF | SMF © 2001-2009, Lewis Media

Dilber MC Theme by HarzeM