The stream of FGI evacuees seeking refuge and solace from meaty nicknamed terrorists, randomly vanishing threads, and Three Stooges-like “debates” about morality and righteousness, started as a trickle and quickly turned into a torrent — with one or two newbies per day mushrooming to more than 500 within four days, taxing Golfhos social programs that in many cases already were stretched thin.
"We're not what we were five weeks ago," said Aske, a long-time resident of dystopia and current chair of the Golfhos Council for the Advancement of ‘Snatch’. "And the reality is, no matter how many stroh and TFT relationships we are able to create they cannot make up the difference. Something must be done." After his statement he handed out a piece of paper, on which this web address was written
http://www.hessian.org. When asked about it, he simply said "pwn3d" and then
Clive, longtime resident and closet bio-fecal engineer, spoke for many Sunday when he talked of a desire to be helpful tempered by the concern that "we don't want to stretch ourselves too thin. There’s nothing worse than a type 5 or 6 if you know what I mean."
In many places, concerns about closet geayness were taking a back seat to the impulse to get a pedicure, at least for now. GolfHos expects the Freegolfinfo Union for Courtesy, Knowledge, Energy and Deliverance "to reimburse us 100 percent for everything," said spaceage, a self-appointed spokesman for PitBull Owners Lobby for Youth, Greatness, Originality, Manhood and Yeast. “But the notion that the FIGGERS would not pick up the tab for all evacuee-related costs seems a bit…er….*fudged* up.
Blader, acting animal husbandry executive deputy administrator, said through the door of his executive bathroom (which by the way was brilliantly decorated), It is important to use the right process to make everyone in the forum feel comfortable with having alternative copulatory practices discussed openly, using visual aids if necessary.” This comment was immediately followed by my being escorted from the building by two stunningly beautiful women who only identified themselves as Trixie and De-ja-vue.
Dystopia, Supreme Pubah over all Golfhos could not be reached for comment, but his publicist did release this statement. “While we welcome all the new members, well not all of them. Some of them should go back to where they belong because they serve no useful purpose here. For those we allow to stay, the immigration process will take 18 to 24 months to be finalized. At which point we expect all who wish to stay to avow their orientation, favorite imbibement and to submit a 5000 word essay on the EROI of balloon puppies.”
Members iwishicouldhit...it and E-A-G-L-E declined to take part in the "juvenile" commentary.
