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Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers

 
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Fuzzy
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Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« on: June 19, 2007, 10:57:10 AM »



http://www.cnn.com/2007/W...n.road.rage.ap/index.html


'Drivers' Ten Commandments'
The "Drivers' Ten Commandments," as listed by the document, are:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

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1puttpar
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2007, 10:58:49 AM »

I'm gonna wait for their commandments for putters.
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2007, 11:21:16 AM »

So talking on cell phones and text-massaging is cool and I didn't see them decry road-head which is nice.  I can live with those.
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2007, 11:45:05 AM »

11. Thou shalt hang up thy *goshdarn* phone, put on thy *goshdarn* makeup before thou leavest thy house, set down thy *goshdarn* Egg McMuffin and 64oz Coke, pay attention to the *goshdarn* road, and drive thy *goshdarn* car.

..or something to that effect.
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dystopia
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2007, 11:52:17 AM »

That's great!  I thought it was going to be an Onion article.
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Fuzzy
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2007, 12:05:08 PM »

That's great!  I thought it was going to be an Onion article.

Somebody was talking about this at work and I thought the same thing at first.
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stroh
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2007, 12:18:25 PM »

11. Thou shalt hang up thy *goshdarn* phone, put on thy *goshdarn* makeup before thou leavest thy house, set down thy *goshdarn* Egg McMuffin and 64oz Coke, pay attention to the *goshdarn* road, and drive thy *goshdarn* car.

..or something to that effect.

12.  Neither shall thou leaveth thy child unattended in the parking lot outside, while thoust sittith thy fat ass at the two shekel machine to cast lots.
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stroh
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2007, 12:23:03 PM »

........And so it came to pass, that upon every vehicle, upon all of the world, there would be placed on it a device to signal the intentions of it's driver to change direction.  And it was good.  It also came to pass that man did not appreciate this gracious gift to alert his fellow man of his intentions, and the technology was shunned. 
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2007, 12:25:48 PM »

thou shall not attempteth a driveby unless thy nameth is porkchop
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2007, 12:28:54 PM »

Devil Devil
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Russia has invaded a sovereign neighboring state and threatens a democratic government elected by its people. Such an action is unacceptable in the 21st century.
--  Chimpy McFlightsuit, CEO of Bu$hco Industries of 'Merka
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2007, 12:53:25 PM »

13. Thou shalt not *goshdarn* slow down in order to *goshdarn* gawk at the aftermath of a *goshdarn* traffic accident.
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #11 on: June 19, 2007, 02:29:36 PM »

14. Open thine eyes to motorcycles, lest ye smite them.

15. When thou travelst and another man and his ass makes known his desire to pass thee, then shalt thou get thine own ass in the right lane already.
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #12 on: June 19, 2007, 03:33:37 PM »

16.  Thou shalt taketh thy car out of the garden of new and used cars, and travel the roads of the earth forever with the mark of the DMV.  And know ye, that as sooneth as tho pulleth out of the garden, thoust Kelly Blue Book value dropeth almost in half.
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #13 on: June 19, 2007, 06:13:49 PM »

17.  *goshdarn* walk already you heathen.
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Re: Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers
« Reply #14 on: June 19, 2007, 08:23:36 PM »


5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.


Okee dokee then.
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