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Serious question

 
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Spanky
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Serious question
« on: August 16, 2007, 01:46:28 PM »

When is a good time to have the drugs talk with your kids and when for the birds and bees talk?

My boys are 9 , 6, and 5. I just had a talk with the oldest about drugs.
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Seamus
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2007, 01:48:11 PM »

Nowadays?

'bout the time they hit grade school unfortunately.
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Teed
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2007, 01:48:55 PM »

Definitely now for your 9 year old.  IMHO...Just keep saying Drugs are bad.  Do you know if the D.A.R.E officers go to your son's classroom to discuss drugs and alcohol?  don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say just let them do it.  I'm wondering if its been brought to your 9 year old attention.
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Aske
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2007, 01:52:18 PM »

3
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gleek
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2007, 01:52:34 PM »

When is a good time to have the drugs talk with your kids and when for the birds and bees talk?

My boys are 9 , 6, and 5. I just had a talk with the oldest about drugs.

5 and 6 might be a little too young to get too "detailed" about where babies come from, but I see no reason to place an age minimum on the discussion of drugs. I think that discussion dovetails nicely with the discussion of "talking to/taking candy from strangers". But what the hell do I know? I'm trying to teach a 3 year old arithmetic.
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Spanky
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2007, 01:54:26 PM »

Definitely now for your 9 year old.  IMHO...Just keep saying Drugs are bad.  Do you know if the D.A.R.E officers go to your son's classroom to discuss drugs and alcohol?  don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say just let them do it.  I'm wondering if its been brought to your 9 year old attention.
Teachers talk about it. I don't think the local police have yet. They may this year being the 4th grade. Next year I would hope since it is Intermediate school. I had to talk to him because I am afraid of the drug called cheese.

The one saving grace is that my oldest has a problem swallowing pills.
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Zoot
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #6 on: August 16, 2007, 01:55:39 PM »

I agree with gleek
a lot depends on his maturity and comprehension skills on the subject.

might want to add "it's not good to bang your teacher after class" in there somewhere while you are at it  Sad
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spacey
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #7 on: August 16, 2007, 02:00:01 PM »

No kids, so take with a grain of salt: I think there's no magic age, some kids process information better and earlier than others. I remember being aware of drug related activity going on at school as early as 4th grade, or so. I don't think any time is too soon, it just might require some conversation with the child to figure out how savvy they are to what you want to talk to them about.

IMHO, while "drugs are bad, m'kay?" is probably a fine way to begin the discussion, I don't think it's the entire discussion. Some discussion about why they may be bad, what the effects are, etc. is necessary. I grew up surrounded by a very oppressive culture in which all taboos were equal, therefore one infraction wasn't necessarily any worse than any other. Smoking was pretty much tantamount to shooting up heroin. It made for some pretty destructive behaviors for some kids, once they decided to "take the plunge into sin."

I don't know about your kids, but "because I said so" was never a persuasive argument for me. When my parents gave me all the facts about why I probably shouldn't do something was when I was able to believe they weren't just being controlling for control's sake. Of course I didn't always do what they said, but at least when I smoked the occasional marijuana in high school/ college I didn't think "well, now that I'm on the drugs, I might as well try all of them."
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Spanky
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2007, 02:00:11 PM »

I agree with gleek
a lot depends on his maturity and comprehension skills on the subject.

might want to add "it's not good to bang your teacher after class" in there somewhere while you are at it  Sad
LOL, actually I asked him in the same conversation if he liked girls yet and he just grinned. I don't think he is to that point though.

On a different note some of the teachers up there are pretty hot but he has not gotten one.
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Walfredo
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2007, 02:02:17 PM »

Tell em kids, like chef said, no not suck on my salty chocolate balls, but there is a time and a place for drugs and that's college.  

As a kid that was going to do drugs if Nancy Reagan herself sat me down and gave me the drugs are bad talk, I'm probably not the best to give this advice.  I had DARE officers and my father gave me the talk too.  

At the age of 15 I feel in love with Mary Jane.  I didn't try more hardcore stuff until college which was smart.  As a teen I couldn't have handled it I'm sure.  

The drugs are bad mmmkay blanket statement loses credibility fast when they invariably try pot and realize it is no worse than liquor.  

I'd give him real stories about how hardcore drugs ruined peoples' lives maybe old friends of yours.  Meth, Crack etc is like a plague threatening many people and shouldn't be placated by being lumped into the frey with marijuana IMO.

Good luck.
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Uisce Beatha
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2007, 05:53:42 PM »

I don't think it's a "talk" at all.  It's a daily/weekly/whatever series of conversations about drugs, alcohol, ****, etc.  Some are 20 minutes on a drive somewhere.  Others are 20 seconds on the way out the door to school  I don't think you can pick a date.  It's an ongoing process and we started sowing the seeds in preschool.
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Seamus
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2007, 06:24:36 PM »

We still tell the girls before they walk out the door "don't do anything to get arrested or pregnant" and they're 18 and 20.

I'm a firm believer in not giving kids adult problems, that being said, it's almost never too early to sit with them and discuss on their level just what's going on, and how do they feel, and what are you thinking, and has anyone ever approached you with...or do you and the other boys talk about...

As spacey alluded to the "because I said so" didn't work for me and the experiments began at a rather early age (12), I was able to at least tell our daughters this drug does this, and alcohol does that, and I'm messed up to this day because at 12 I should have been playing baseball and should not have been scoring weed..sorry I digress. But it seems to have worked with them anyway.

It's not too early to start finding out just where their heads are spanky, know their friends, even now, stay connected.
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Uisce Beatha
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2007, 06:32:37 PM »

Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along.

Goodbye Papa it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them I'll be there.


Crying Crying Crying
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stroh
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2007, 07:14:08 PM »

I don't think it's a "talk" at all.  It's a daily/weekly/whatever series of conversations about drugs, alcohol, ****, etc.

Karma.
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Blader
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Re: Serious question
« Reply #14 on: August 17, 2007, 07:06:56 AM »

I don't think it's a "talk" at all.  It's a daily/weekly/whatever series of conversations about drugs, alcohol, ****, etc.  Some are 20 minutes on a drive somewhere.  Others are 20 seconds on the way out the door to school  I don't think you can pick a date.  It's an ongoing process and we started sowing the seeds in preschool.

That's how it pretty much goes in my house.

Except for the times after we find their nickel bags and empty vodka bottles.  Then we talk to them mostly every day over the next month, reminding them how miserable it must be to be grounded that long.
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